This first day of April has been a roller coaster of ups and downs. I have a new grand-daughter! Her name is Madison Chanel Lynn and she came into this world at 1:46 pm Eastern time after more than 15 hours of labor and an eventual c-section, weighing in at 7lbs and 15ozs and 20 inches! Not shortly after another lady I work with also announced that she, too, had a new grand-daughter as well, but at the same time we received word that another fellow employee had passed away in his sleep last night. As new life was preparing to come into this world an older one was preparing to leave. As I rejoice another family is in mourning.
This first day of April was glorious and as I came home I looked forward to going outside and preparing my planting areas a bit in the warmth, but I hadn't been out very long when Daddy called for me and announced that he needed to discuss something with me. My anticipation to enjoy this beautiful afternoon turned to a sinking feeling as once again he talked about not being a burden to us, wanting to see his dogs and asking how long I thought it would take him to "drive back home." And of course having to come up with the half truths and false promises that would keep him from becoming too upset. I hate this part - knowing that he will not be able to go home, yet giving the hope that he might do so. And yes, there was resentment as well - with the further realization that I will no longer have the time to call my own when I can go out as I please and play in the garden. The discussion went on for hours and I watched the light fading as my heart also sank. I know that this was the right thing, and while I knew that there would be sacrifices, I didn't realize that I would also have to give up the smallest of pleasures too. And now I feel selfish - I AM the April fool today.
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