After all of the funk that I have experienced over the last few months a few things have become very clear to me - but first and foremost is that I need to quit feeling sorry for myself. No matter what I have to get thru this mess and I will. I have been thru other bad poopy before and I survived, and I will survive this as well. I have learned that no one really wants to hear my calls for help, so I won't make them anymore. I thought that if I admitted that I was feeling lost and get over the fear of rejection that it would be better, but it didn't make a difference. So I will stand on my own, as I have done before, and I will remember that, no matter how bad things seem, someone out there has it a lot worse than I do. Despite what has happened lately the man I married is still the man I want to spend the rest of my life with. We are both going through big transitions in our lives and if we work hard to think of what the other is going through and not lose sight of what is most important we will make it.
I had to remind myself that I CAN do a lot on my own - it just takes the willpower to do it. I have that willpower back and I feel better about myself than I have in a long time - because I also realize that the only person I need to worry about proving myself to is me.
I will take that extra three minutes on the way to work to stop and take that photo of the lake that I keep putting off. I will remember to make myself a priority sometimes.
